Christmas is Coming, Will you be There?

Christmas is one of the hardest times of year for me.

I have always loved all things Christmas and yet it brings to the surface sadness inside me. With every carol, every light, every tree and ornament, every glimmer-something inside of me aches and the sadness and pain washes over my heart again.

As my counselor and I were talking a few weeks ago the topic of Christmas came up. We took a step into the sadness. As I left that day, with my heart deeply sad, I drew this picture.

Months ago towards the beginning of this journey, a friend suggested I look for a photo of myself when I was little. At the time I could only find two. One was a photo of me placing an ornament on our family tree. The little girl in that picture looked happy and free. The symbolism in that photo was huge-my friend said draw her with her crown-because she is a princess-a daughter of the One True King.

This is the first colored pencil picture I drew of little me.

And now the Christmas season is officially here. Tree stands are popping up on the sides of the road, decorations are everywhere, songs are playing on the radio. Today as I was driving, talking to Jesus about my sad heart, a song started playing on the radio.

"Christmas Is Coming"

Christmas is coming, the bells are ringing

Hope comes alive as music fills the air

Some say Christmas is for children and I believe it’s true

Can you hear the season calling to the child inside of you?

Awaken from your slumber come see with younger eyes

And be taken by the wonder that took the whole world by surprise!

Christmas is coming, the bells are ringing

Hope comes alive as music fills the air

I hear the drumming, it won't be long now

Christmas is coming, will you be there?

Prepare ye the way

For God's own baby boy

Born to mend all broken things

And to heal the world with joy

He will heal the world with joy!

I don't want you to miss it, I know I have before

Like the innkeeper who missed the wonder right outside his door

So open up your heart as Christmas passes through

Just in time to wake the child asleep inside of you

Recently I reread the story "Talitha Koum" the story of Jesus raising the little girl back to life. 

"One of the synagogue leaders, named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at his feet. He pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands onher so that she will be healed and live.” So Jesus went with him...While Jesus was still speaking, some people came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” they said. “Why bother the teacher anymore?” Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.”...When they came to the home of the synagogue leader, Jesus saw a commotion, with people crying and wailing loudly. He went in and said to them, “Why all this commotion and wailing? The child is not dead but asleep.”....he took the child’s father and mother and the disciples who were with him, and went in where the child was. He took her by the hand and said to her,“Talitha koum!” (which means “Little girl, I say to you, get up!”). Immediately the girl stood up and began to walk" (Mark 5)

This phrase stood out. "The child is not dead but asleep.” For Jesus it was only as if she was asleep. Because Jesus can take broken things and mend them. Jesus can take dead things and bring them back to life. Jesus can mend, heal, awaken, and bring life to little girls.

So open up your heart as Christmas passes through

Just in time to wake the child asleep inside of you

When the song started playing today I was on my way home from buying this book.

It is an advent book. Each day there is a devotional reading, questions to journal, and an ornament to place on the tree. 

The ornaments create a Jesse Tree. A tree that tells the story of Christ's family tree. 

"The family tree of Christ startlingly notes not one woman but four. Four broken women-women who felt like outsiders, like has-beens, like never beens. Women who were weary of being taken advantage of, of being unnoticed and uncherished and unappreciated; women who didn't fit in , who didn't know what to believe, where to go-women who had thought about giving up . And Jesus claims exactly these who are wandering and wondering and wounded and worn out as His. He grafts you into His line, His story, and His heart, and He gives you His name, His lineage, His righteousness, and He graces you with plain grace. Is there a greater Gift you could want or need or have? Christ comes right to your Christmas tree and looks at your family tree and says "I am your God, and I am one of you, and I'll be the Gift, and I'll take you. Take Me?" This, this, is the love story that's been coming for you since the beginning."

This year I'm running into the arms of Jesus-Immanuel-God with us.  

Seeking to let him hold me.

I want him to open my eyes, so I feel and know the One who holds me in His arms.

"And the heart that makes time and space for Him to come will be a glorious place...Because each day of Advent we will actively wait. Wait knowing that the remaking of everything has already begun. We will linger over the lines of the Old Testament stories, tracing the branches of the family tree of Christ...pointing to the coming, the already relief, the incarnation of God. We'll still and slow and trace each exquisite ornament pictured with these twenty-five Advent narratives, each ornament cut slow out of paper. And there He is- the exquistie Gift cut and given for us, broken. The Gift who hung on a Tree for us, cut off. The Gift who was pierced for you, wounded-your wounded willing God, who unfolds Himself on the Tree as your endless, greatest Gift."

Christmas is coming 

Hope comes alive 

I don't want to miss it

Christmas is coming will you be there?

There?-Where?

I think He is showing me He wants Christmas to come to the hurting broken places of my heart. 

Maybe that is where Christmas needs to happen this year. 

Christmas-Jesus coming to live, to be with us. 

Christmas in the hurting broken places of my heart-Jesus coming to be with me there.

Jesus is already there. He whispers the question-will I enter those hurting places with Him? 

Will I let Christmas come to mend all broken things in me?  to wake the little girl inside? 

He is there, He is here, He is near. 

Will you invite Him to meet you there?

To wake the child asleep inside of you?

With every ornament I hang on my tree I am going to look for Him to meet me there, to take me by the hand, to heal a piece of me, to bring life to the little girl in me. 

Christmas is coming, will you be there?

Open up your heart as Christmas passes through

Just in time to wake the child asleep inside of you